Psssst… I’m going to let you in on a little secret that you may not know. There’s more than one kind of “big o”... that’s right! Some of these may not seem as obvious as others, but they do indeed exist. With a little bit of awareness and education, you can get the orgasms that you deserve. Alright, now let’s get to it!
Now, you may have heard that there are as many as 12 orgasms you can have. For now, let’s focus on the five an average person can achieve. This will require some self exploration and communication with your partner as well, so be prepared to take your time, be open, and have fun with it.
First, let’s go over those main 5 orgasms: Clitoral, vaginal, anal, combo, and erogenous zones. What do all of those mean? I’ll tell you.
Clitoral: These orgasms are often felt on the surface of the body. They oftentimes feel like a tingly feeling along your skin and in your brain.
Vaginal: Have you ever felt a pulse during sexual penetration? These orgasms are deeper in the body and can easily be felt by the person penetrating.
Anal: You can have an anal orgasm! Before your orgasm, you may feel an intense need to urinate, but the contractions definitely won’t be felt around the genitals. Instead, they will be around the anal sphincter.
Combo: All together now. When the vagina (particularly the G-spot) and the clitoris are stimulated at the same time, it tends to result in a more explosive movie-style orgasm. That’s right. It may even have you convulsing or ejaculating (yes, women can ejaculate too.)
Erogenous Zones: If you’ve ever watched “Friends'' there's a great episode where Monica Gellar goes into the different erogenous zones. These are the lesser known parts of your body, such as the ears, the nipples, the neck, the elbows, and the knees, etc. They can still cause a pleasurable reaction when kissed and played with. For more sensitive people, continuous play may lead to an actual orgasm.
So, how do we achieve these orgasms?
Let’s start with the clitoris. The clitoris is a small organ with a lot of nerve endings that peeks out from the tiptop of the vulva. It is often covered by a hood, and extends down the inside of the labia. The best way to stimulate the clitoris is to gently massage with the fingers, palm, or tongue in a back and forth or circular motion.
Once the clitoris begins to get wet, or you apply lube, you will apply faster and harder pressure in a repetitive motion. You’ll then want to top off this motion with heavier pressure as the orgasm begins to intensify the feeling. If your clit is more sensitive, be a little more gentle. Back down a little if the clit is too sensitive.
If that gets you off, great! If it doesn’t, don’t worry! This is not by any means the only way.
The Vaginal Orgasm
Vaginal orgasm is often misunderstood as the “best” way for women to orgasm. It is the easiest for penises. However, it is often the most difficult for ladies. Instead of a penis, you can try using fingers or a sex toy.
Here’s what you do: Insert the fingers or toy into the vagina and make a “come hither” or circular motion toward the belly button. And here’s why - there’s a point of pleasure on this wall called the G-spot. When you hit it with regular, strong pressure, it can lead to orgasm.
Side note, stimulation of the G-spot is also the way to lead to female ejaculation. It stimulates the Skene’s glands on either side of the urethra.
The Anal Orgasm
The topic of anal orgasms has a bit of a stigma on it. Plus, anal orgasms are much more common in men because of the prostate. However, they can be achieved simply by rubbing the outside of the anal opening as well as stimulating the inside of the anus with a finger.
When it comes to anal penetration, please use lube. The anus doesn’t naturally produce lubricant, and the skin around the area is very prone to tears. This can all be dangerous and uncomfortable, and lead to unwanted infections.
Erogenous Zone Orgasms
In order to achieve the infamous combo orgasm, you will want to combine clitoral and vaginal stimulation at the same time .
You will need to experiment with this one. You may be able to orgasm from kisses on your neck, teeth on your nipples, or many other ways. A fun way to find your erogenous zones is to use a feather or another light external object and take note where you feel pleasure.
The Importance of Communication and Realistic Expectations
I cannot stress this enough: In any kind of sexual play with a partner, communication is key. Tell your partner what you want, how, and where is the best way to ensure maximum pleasure.
This also means being open minded and willing to experiment. If your regular sex routine isn’t getting you off, then experimenting with touching new areas is the next best step to solving your orgasm troubles.
It’s also important to note that experimenting and achieving orgasm doesn’t require a partner :) take time to explore yourself, say hello, and get to know who you truly are.
Every Orgasm is Different
Orgasms can be small. They can happen many times in a row or just once… and they don’t always happen. Don’t define your orgasms by someone else’s description.
Everyone is different. We all have different bodies, and different ideas of pleasure. Play around, experiment, communicate, and most of all… have fun!