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Why You Shouldn't Fake Sexual Pleasure

Why You Shouldn't Fake Sexual Pleasure

Do you remember that famous scene in When Harry Met Sally where Meg Ryan loudly fakes an orgasm? It’s classic. People love that scene because it’s so relatable.

Now, let me ask you a personal question. In full honesty, have you ever faked the “big o”? If you have, you aren’t alone. In fact, fifty percent of women and twenty five percent of men have reported faking an orgasm during sexual activity. Those are some staggering numbers. 

So, why do we do this? Well, some fake an orgasm when they get frustrated and feel like it just isn’t going to happen. Others may try to put on a show to avoid offending their partner. While it may seem harmless, faking an orgasm can damage your sex life in the long run. Let’s explore the reasons to NOT fake sexual pleasure. 


You Will Have a Harder Time Achieving the Real Thing

This is one instance where you don’t want to “fake it until you make it.” By faking an orgasm, you can have a harder time achieving a real one. You see, faking leads to a disconnect with your bodily sensations and perceptions. In order to achieve climax, you should be present and focused. Pretending to orgasm creates a disconnect with your bodily sensations and perceptions. 


You Will Feel Disconnected From Your Partner 

When we naturally reach orgasm with our partners, we feel connected to them. This isn’t just a myth. An orgasm can stimulate the release of the “love hormone” called oxytocin. Oxytocin is a hormone and a neurotransmitter. It is associated with empathy, trust, sexual activity, and relationship-building. So if you find yourself opening up and bonding more with your partner after sexual intercourse, this may be why. Remember, a real orgasm leads to a true connection. 


It Can Create Trust Issues

Lack of trust in a relationship is never a good thing. The last thing you want to do is create trust issues in the bedroom because of something trivial like faking an orgasm. Your partner may not say it, but many people can sense when it doesn’t happen for real. Remember your partner wants to please you. They don’t want to worry about whether or not you’re pretending in bed. At the end of the day, honesty is always the best policy. 


Be Delicate With Your Approach

In summary, don’t fake sexual pleasure. While you may mean well, doing this doesn’t benefit either you or your partner. Instead, try communicating. This will set realistic expectations for the both of you. Some things will work, and others may not. That’s fine. You are in the process of discovering yourself. 

One important thing to keep in mind is your approach to this conversation. Whether you’ve been faking orgasms throughout most of your relationship or only occasionally, you’ll want to be delicate. Slowly start acting more authentic so it doesn’t surprise your partner. Start pointing things out overtime, and communicate what you like and don’t like. Your partner will surely be happy to oblige. 

Remember to have fun with it, and always be honest and open. 

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